Life Issues
Resources
Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsQuestions and Answers
Trying to ForgetPlease Help Me..Was my therapist wrong or am I just freaking out?Boyfriend's skeletons and friends' opinionsHelping my almost 19 year old daughter face the real worldLove but Different ReligionsWhat is wrong with me? I Don't care anymore...Cannot support old friend in her affairWhat Is A 'Complex'?Friend's Downward SpiralOut Of Control FriendSeriously JealousAntisocial And UncommunicativeEmotional OrphanPossessive Ex-GirlfriendDelusional FriendDelusional FriendDirty NieceLying About IllnessAbsence of ClosenessHeart of DarknessSuicidal TeenHow Can I Help My Friend?Am I Happy?Cruel FriendAngry But Over-ControlledSingle, Stressed And GuiltyGetting Beyond ThisIt's Hard To Trust AgainReader Comment #1Obsessive LoveI'm Attracted To My TherapistNot Allowed To Contact My BoyfriendAm I Paranoid?I Love My TherapistLanguage Fluency EnvySecurity BlanketHer Only FriendHow To Become EmpathicDid He Or Didn't He?Making FriendsProcrastinationFreshman in LoveExternalizationMs. MiseryHaunted College StudentProfessional BoundariesPushy FriendAbsent TherapistObsessionSuicide Threat Relationships (a long one)TrustCompulsive LyingI Can't Tell a LieProcrastinationBlushingEnergy Draining FriendDrinking ProblemTerminal ProcrastinatorShy GuyToxic PeopleDepression and FriendshipHelp Yourself by Helping OthersPublic DisplayWhy Am I Running Away?How Can I Help My Friend?Wealth EnvyBeautiful DreamerMiss LonelyDual RelationshipSo-CalledIs She Playing Hard to Get?Falling for My MentorTeacher's Pet?ReunitedSomeone Else's LoveMy Sense of Humor...I'm a Homebody...Remember Me?Friend's New Fling
LinksBook Reviews
Related Topics

Sexuality & Sexual Problems
Family & Relationship Issues
Grief & Bereavement Issues
Parenting
Smoking
Healthcare
Death & Dying
Relationship Problems

Ask Dr. DombeckAsk Dr. Dombeck:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Terminal Procrastinator

Mon, Feb 14th 2000

Here's me: I am 25 years old, male. If it helps at describing my personality background, I am an INFP on the myers-briggs type indicator. Here's my problem. I feel like I have terminal procrastination. I can't seem to prioritize anything 'correctly'. By this I mean the way most people would. I seem to have trouble doing everyday tasks on time that most other people do often on time. I seem only to "pay up" a utility bill when there's a threat of shut off. I am regularly late with my rent. It took me 3 years to get around to buying car insurance. Also, I am usually running late for appointments with friends and families, and I often I skip out on appointments at hair salons, etc. Sometimes I honestly forget, yet other times I find myself making lame excuses for my poor behavior, sometimes which are complete lies. I am sometimes guilty of lip service, making commitments I deep down doubt I can make. The house is usually a mess -- taking me a week to get around to doing the dishes, etc. Only under the "threat" of houseguests might I actually clean, and a few times I just hide the dishes in a closet. I am still in college, and I started when I was 16. I have attended sporadically, taking a year off here or there. I tend to start out with 5 or 6 classes each semester, and then I will drop down to 3 or 4. I then end up still with usually one or two incompletes every semester. I still haven't finished my 2 degrees. I feel like I have a problem with ever working more than 20 hours a week at a regular office-type job, as the tedium of the office world depresses me, though I long to be doing creative work for a living (I would like to direct films), and I increasingly realize that might be not realistic, as I have obvious problems with staying motivated. Accomplishments of small goals never seem to 'make me happy'; I tend to be happiest doing my (creative) work when it seems like the rest of my life doesn't get in the way of interrupting the creative process. By the rest of my life I mean friends, family, calendars of social obligations and events, etc. Sometimes I wish I could move away and start over fresh in another city, it would limit my social contacts so I could concentrate and work, or perhaps I want to even rent a small quiet clean office with no telephone or outside distractions in my own town, but somehow I feel like even with these options, I would eventually end up finding something to distract myself before my tasks were completed. So, my question: is this a sign of a personality disorder or other mental illness, or am I just lazy? What course of action can I take to lessen or cure this character flaw? Any suggested books, or am I wasting more time obsessing with my problems, instead of just getting down to work? Why do I seem to lack most discipline?

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Dombeck intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Dombeck to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Dombeck, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Dombeck and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.