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Ask Anne: Relationship AdviceAsk Anne:
Relationship Questions

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Tue, Jun 4th 2002

I have a dear friend, a bit younger than me, who I made the mistake of going out with two years ago. Because of our difference in religion he decided not to pursue it. I have been through a lot of loss in my life and the fact that he was attracted to me was desperately exciting. As he was the first person to be there for me without leaving, I poured out my entire life and heart to him. Since then, I have kept this hold on him and expected him to be there for me for the longest time. I have cried and been very angry when he won't love me the way I want him to, and I get jealous when I see him horse around with or be physically comfortable with any of our other female friends. I don't know what I'll do when he gets a significant other. I feel like I want to be the most special person in his life. He is getting to a point where he's getting tired of this, and I don't live in the dorm anymore but still go to see him everyday. What can I do to make our relationship better? He is a dear, dear, DEAR friend, has done so much for me, and I want the friendship to last... I want to be there for him, but he's a real introvert and doesn't talk too much. I feel like I'm so scared to let anything go, I'm choking him, and losing everything anyway. What should I do to be a good friend? How do I get over my feeling that he is my security blanket? How do I love him without depending on him?

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