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I Desperately Want to Make This Work

Tue, Sep 14th 2010

I have been married for 10 years, and my husband and I are the proud parents of two wonderful boys.

For the past year, my husband and I have really lacked in genuine communication. He is generally a very quiet man, but not with me. He will bottle things up, and when I want to discuss something that is bothering me, he takes in what I say, but does not respond; or if he does respond, its with an "I'm" sorry, without discussing anything, and says he just wants to move on from it.

Well, as you can imagine, bottling up all of those feelings - eventually the bottle gets full and he blows up and asks me if I want a divorce, that he is sick of fighting, and wants to walk away. After he gets all of that out and calms down, he comes back to me and says that he didn't mean any of it, but it was just so many emotions coming out at once that he just exploded, and promises that he will work on expressing his feelings to me as they come, so that we don't have the big fight (not in front of the kids).

Do you have some tips on communication so that I can re-connect with my husband? It is to the point now that I feel like I am living with a friend and lover, just not a husband or companion. I know its not healthy, and I am starting to feel myself drawing away from him emotionally, and he has just become a part of my life, but the intimate loving connection seems to have just faded away.

I love him....I don't want anybody else...we have never "stepped" outside of our marital bond....but I am struggling to mend something that I just don't know how to mend. I don't want a broken family. I grew up in one and it was terrible.

Any suggestions? I'm desperate for help.

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