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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

How Do I Handle My Mother's Decline?

Sun, Apr 8th 2012

My 87-year old mother has been independent all her life. She's paid her own bills, managed two homes, lived on her own happily. She's a very bright lady, but she's losing her memory and doesn't get around as easily as she used to. She's aware of this and is frightened. So am I.

I'm relieved that in a month Mom will move into an assisted living residence, but this doesn't change the fact that my mother is changing before my eyes. I hate the thought that my mother can't manage her own affairs anymore. I'm afraid that one of these days she might not know who I am and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm hoping she passes away before this happens.

I need to help her face her frailties, but it's so hard when I'm having such a tough time myself. I have a sister but we're not much help to each other. We live a distance apart and I've become even more frantic when I talk with her because she's having a harder time with this than I am.

How do I accept my mother's decline? I realize I'm not alone. Many adult children have had to face what I'm going through but I feel alone with this. What advice do you have to help me get through this difficult time?

Thanks.

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