How Do I Handle My Mother's Decline?Sun, Apr 8th 2012
My 87-year old mother has been independent all her life. She's paid her own bills, managed two homes, lived on her own happily. She's a very bright lady, but she's losing her memory and doesn't get around as easily as she used to. She's aware of this and is frightened. So am I.
I'm relieved that in a month Mom will move into an assisted living residence, but this doesn't change the fact that my mother is changing before my eyes. I hate the thought that my mother can't manage her own affairs anymore. I'm afraid that one of these days she might not know who I am and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm hoping she passes away before this happens.
I need to help her face her frailties, but it's so hard when I'm having such a tough time myself. I have a sister but we're not much help to each other. We live a distance apart and I've become even more frantic when I talk with her because she's having a harder time with this than I am.
How do I accept my mother's decline? I realize I'm not alone. Many adult children have had to face what I'm going through but I feel alone with this. What advice do you have to help me get through this difficult time?
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.