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Vows Could Turn Sour

Sun, Feb 27th 2005

Dear Anne - i am 49 years old and have been married and divorced twice - i have three children - none of which live with me. my partner is 54 years old been married and divorced once and has four grown children. we have been in a exclusive monogamous interdependent honest relationship for five and a half years. we enjoy each others company immensely and rarely fight. a year ago we bought a apartment in nyc and moved in together. i want him to ask me to marry him. then again i am afraid of changing the dynamics of a wonderful relationship. if marriage is the peak of a couples relationship then there is no where to go but down from there. i always change emotionally toward the other person when i get married. suddenly i expect a lot from them and they don't meet the mark also i begin to feel trapped and like i am trapping the other person. i love the idea of a great marriage but don't want to ruin a good thing. if he asks me to marry him should i say no and keep what i have or should i say yes and run the risk of vows that turn sour? my brain just gets weird when i marry someone - i have bipolar and borderline personality disorder eating disorders and can be fragile emotionally.

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