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In Love With A Married Man

Mon, Jan 31st 2005

I've gotten myself into a situation that I never dreamed of. I'm a Univ. student. I started a while ago and when I started I met this guy. We hit it off right away. He's older than I am and married, however, he has an open relationship with his wife. We became lovers only after I had assurances from his wife that it was okay. And for awhile, it was great. We were only sex partners and friends. Then, I went home for Christmas. I didn't have a very good time and I'd call him and he'd listen. At this time, his wife started a relationship with another man. He was thrilled about this and thought it was great. However, her secondary relationship ended. She became unhappy, moody, angry, and bitter. They began fighting. He told her that she could go anywhere she wanted to in the world to figure out what she really wanted from her life and he would be there for her when she got back. Things didn't go well. I came back from visiting my family, he and I spent a weekend together and when he got home, his wife claimed she wanted a separation. She moved out of the house. And, I was the one who got to be the sounding board for him. Not that I mind, because I don't. However, he keeps saying that he wishes she were more like me [happier,un-moody, and stronger]. She came back, but all they do is fight. She'll disappear for days without calling him to tell him where she went. In one of their fights she told him that she only married him because she thought he'd change. I truly love and care about him and I know he truly loves and cares about me too. We're each other best friends. We read each other's work, we spend the weekends together shopping and walking around the city, we call each other to let the other one know where we are and what we're doing and we communicate well. The mean, jealous part of me wants his relationship with his wife to end because I want him. I figure that we have a better relationship than he and his wife. But, I know if his relationship with his wife ended, he'd be depressed and unhappy and I don't want that either. Even if his relationship with his wife ended, I'd have no guarantee that we'd have a romantic relationship (although, what we have now sure feels like that). I don't know what to do? He's my dearest friend who knows everything about me. I don't want to loose him as a friend but then, I don't want to get hurt. Help.

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