On Becoming A PersonSat, Feb 28th 2004
I am so torn up over my love life I don't really know what to do. This pertains to "C" someone I met when I was 17, dated for four years, then continued to see for four years following that. The break after the first four years was his doing, he basically said that it felt like we were on the path to marriage and that he couldn't see himself married to me (because of my weight, apparently). I can't identify all the reasons I continued to see him but basically there was love in that relationship when I had no one else who would love me. My parents neglected me as a child and I was, and continue to be, very much alone. You should also know that I have anxiety and panic and I am seeing a therapist to address some of this and basically to have a "safe place." (she has been on vacation for the past six weeks though.) I feel very strong despite my circumstances. About a week ago, I finally told the guy I couldn't see him any more. I have known it was the right thing to do and I finally found the courage to do it. But, it is more painful than I had ever imagined it would be. I know he's taking it badly too, although perhaps that shouldn't be my concern. The bottom line is that I am NOT reconsidering my decision - however, this is just such a loss and my anxiety is all riled up (I want to make it clear, I am not depressed) and I don't know how I can remain strong all the time and I worry about my romantic future and I just want some peace!! Please, can you offer any advice, or at least validation that I'm doing the right thing and that this will pass with time? Thanks so much Anne
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