Ask Anne: Relationship Questions
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I have been dating a really nice man for the last 6 months. We are planning on getting married, he has a house that is about 250 miles from where I live, he got divorced in may and went back to the house because his x didn't get it. I live in a big town, and so we were looking forward to moving to the small town his house is in and living the farm life which has always been my dream and his. We have lived one week in the city and one in the country. Anyway his nephew (15 yrs) committed suicide 3 weeks ago, and he is having a really hard time grieving the loose. Last week he went to the country without me and the second day he was there his ex-wife came over and they ended up having sex. He told me about it that night on the computer, he was very upset and wasn't sure why it happened. Then he told me he felt that he needed closure and that it wasn't the best way to get it. They had not seen each other for 7 months. I have such mixed feelings about this - I am very hurt and upset - I feel I can't trust him now. I know people do stupid things but it just hurt me so bad when he told me. I would rather not have known, it changes everything, he feels really bad about it, and took some pills Friday night, and I had to call an ambulance from 250 miles away. He is okay and now we are planning on staying in the city, he said he just had to get away from the small town that he lived in with her. I just don't know what to believe. I feel like I have been manipulated. Do you have any advise on how to heal from infidelity, he isn't agreeing to going to counseling, I am going to go next week. Thanks,

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