Relationship With My Boss #1Wed, Jul 30th 2003
I am 24 y.o. My boyfriend is 9 years older than me but he still acts like a child, there is no difference was very in love with him because he is a tender guy. He is very sociable,makes jokes and girls like him. He had various girlfriend but he had never been really in love. I am the most important girl from all times. I am a very sensitive, perfectionist girl. I'm not that sociable and my biggest problem is the low self-confidence and pessimism. Still, I'm beautiful, smart, I had lots of successful activities in many fields and many people admire me. My boyfriend is also my boss. We used to be very in love like two teenagers. I guess he took advantage of my deep and sincere love for him and not having the power to say no, forgive him for many things, letting things go unsolved just for peace and now, after almost 4 years we have lots of quarrels. He had started some time ago not to respect me anymore, not to feel very much for me. Being my boss he also started to play this role in our relationship. I am very aware of the fact that I should have let him go a long time ago when I first realize is not working but I have a problem with that. He is the only boyfriend I've got and I cannot understand how can you share so many things with a person, be so intimate and then forget everything and see him with another girl. I became very depended of him. I am crying very often, I became sensitive, with a low self-confidence and a low self esteem and he doesn't like that. He wants a happy girl. I understand that and I know I have a problem, I want to be more optimist but I don't trust in me enough. I've tried few times to find the strength to brake the relation but I've became very anxious, desperate and I felt that I can't do it. My sister helps me a lot but only with a sister advices. I feel like I'm living somebody's else life, I'm not the person I used to be: happy, confident. I have 2 choices: braking up the relation or learning how to gain my self confidence, optimism and positive thinking and interior peace. I don't have the power to take the first choice so I really want to try the second one. For the relations' sake and especially for me, as a person. I guess I also need another specialist advice but, please help me.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.