Relationship With My Boss #2Wed, Jul 30th 2003
I started a relationship with my boss about 2 years ago. He was married with children at the time and told me that he was very unhappy in his marriage and doubted that he had ever loved his wife. He left his wife, but has been continually plagued by feelings of guilt, which caused fights and ended our relationship on a number of occasions. Six months ago, I found out that he has been suffering from chronic depression for over 15 years. Our relationship finally ended four months ago due to a mutual feeling that whilst we cared deeply for one another, we were not compatible. The problem is that we were still incredibly close. Working together everyday and seeing each other at weekends meant that we invariably slipped into our old relationship pattern. I have also been having problems with mood swings caused by glandular irregularities over the past 6 months. He was very unsympathetic and this has caused a lot of arguments between us and has made working together very difficult. He now says that he doesn't want anything more to do with me. I find this very hard to accept because despite everything we have gone through, I have been very supportive of his depression in a personal and professional capacity. I have taken some time off work to rest and get back on track, but I am worried what will face me when I go back. I still care a lot for him and we need to work very closely together. I don't want an intimate relationship anymore, but I don't think I can cope with being completely shut off from his life and losing the emotional bond we had. I love my job and don't want to leave, but am starting to feel that this is the only way out.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.