Rocky Relationships and AddictionSun, Sep 8th 2002
I have been seeing this woman for about 3 1/2 years now. Needless to say our relationships has been rocky. We go through periods of bliss to end in a sudden breakup by her. I have discovered that she has a huge fear of intimacy and low-self esteem. Over the last 5 months we both quit drinking and sought help through AA and individual counseling. We are currently apart however do to another sudden breakup when thing where doing great. She needed so time to work on her issues with her broken home and such. She doing well over the last few weeks and she has discovered that we enabled one another in our addictions and habits. I really wish to make this work out for us and I was wondering if there is a way to become aware of each other's enabling habits and put a stop to them. I would rather us be positive enablers to one another. I seem to be doing much better than her as I have not had drop to drink in over 5 months. She had a panic attack and when out 2 weeks ago. She has a better sponsor now and is dealing with her resentments. I only want to help her in her progress. I know she needs to do this on her own, but I feel the time apart might allow us to drift apart. I do not want this to happen. I fear that discussing a reconciliation will seem enmeshing or codependent. Is there a way for us to become useful partners to one another during this time?
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.