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Sat, Jul 18th 2009

I'm a young man, just 20 years old, but I feel so down sometimes and I'm not sure why. As far as I know I am an attractive guy, I've been with alot of attractive girls, girls that none of my friends could ever get with. I've had many relationships, good and bad, and when I actually try to get a girl I usually can. I feel like I don't have any friends. If I never called anyone, my phone would never be used. None of my "friends" ever call me, and they go out together and party and hangout with girls and don't consider calling me. One of my friends claimed he didn't invite me to a party because he was afraid all the girls would flock to me, but I really doubt that. The most recent party I went to was horrible. I showed up and knew about half the people there, but no one was interested in talking to me or introducing their self. If I didn't go up and talk to the people I actually knew then the people there probably wouldn't even have noticed my pressence. After being there for an hour I ended up walking around pretending like I was on my cell phone because no one would talk to me. I recognized a few girls there, ones I have kissed and done other things with, but they didn't even say hi. I thought it might be because when I was "with them" I broke it off after I got what I wanted. I am really lonely. I went on a date with a young, attractive girl, but she didn't interest me. I think it was because she was kind of stupid. I just got out of a relationship before that. The girl I was with was really into me. I stayed with her everynight, all my friends thought she was very attractive and cool, but I don't find her very attractive. I am still kind of obsessed with a 2 of my ex-girlfriends. I find myself thinking of them at least once a day, which worries me because its been years since we dated. I don't understand my life at all. Why do none of my friends ever call me or want to hang out? Why is it that everytime I go out, girls don't seem to pay attention to me? I talk to girls with respect, and I never try to get into their pants, unless we've been dating. I wonder if my reputation has anything to do with it. Most people in my social circle know I've been with alot of girls, could that be a reason why none of them seem interested? How could a girl I've never met know about that though? I'm different around certain girls. I sometimes have full confidence and charm. I'm witty, quick and I usually get the girl to like me and go out with me. Then other times I'm quite and stand-off-ish and I have no confidence at all.

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