L.D. writes:Sun, Aug 31st 1997
A man at work, who started as my friend five years ago, grew into the most intimate, fun, and adventurous "love affair" I have ever had (I'm 47). He's married, so we have constantly tried to keep it a friendship. We did not have intercourse, which he believes keeps it OK. Nonsense! It is very painful for me. After years of fighting the feelings, and a few months of therapy, I decided to put my own needs first. I have left the relationship in a very loving way (I still love him very much), and will be leaving my job at the end of this month. I know that I will not be able to shake him out of my heart until I no longer have to see him every day. Since he found out that I'm leaving my job he has gotten progressively angry with me. His feelings now seem like hatred. I expected him to become angry; I am no longer fulfilling his needs at the expense of my own. I keep thinking (hoping) he'll move into another emotion. We don't talk at all anymore. I had hoped we could end it at least with some respect and regard for each other. Can you shed some light on his behavior? Do you recommend a course of action for me? The situation is so stressful that I avoid him all together. I feel like I am walking on eggshells. Thanks!!! L.D.
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