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Living In Fear Of The Next Outburst

Fri, Jul 29th 2005

I need an objective opinion. I have been married for five years to a man whom I love. The problem is his temper and his desire to control me. There are times when I know he would love to strike me during disagreements. I find that we speak less and less about important issues because I fear a sudden mood change. If the relationship were all bad, it would be an easy case, but most of the time we get along well. In times of stress, he becomes overwhelmed, however, and that is when I have to walk on egg shells for fear of upsetting him. He doesn't think we need marriage counseling, but rather thinks I should just listen to him and do as he says. I don't think I can save my marriage without counseling. And I just don't trust that things will get better on their own. I am not willing to think that I am the cause of his unhappiness or the constant source of his frustration. I am a kind, well-meaning person who gets along well with others. In all other areas of my life, I am stable. I thought he was too, but his rage has me living in fear of the next outburst. I think he is close to stepping over the line between merely wishing to strike out and actually doing so. I need to get out of here, don't I?

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