Depression: Depression & Related Conditions

Ask Dr. Schwartz
Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Am I Over Thinking This, or Am I Right?

 

So, I've been dating my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) for 2 years. The first few months we were inseparable and constantly on top of one another. We were constantly making out for hours of passionate, crazy sex. The first time we made love, my cherry popped. It hurt and I bled for the very first time in my life. When we first had sex it was PAINFUL!!!! My insides were opening but I didn't want to kill the mood so I moaned loudly and kept looking into his eyes for comfort.

About 8 months into the relationship, we not only stopped having sex but we argued EVERYDAY for MONTHS. We stayed together and tried to work things out. I have a mental illness (BPD with Depression) and I knew our love was true if he was still willing to stay. We'd break up and get back together constantly. We NEVER got intimate again,  EVER! I'd take my clothes off and he'd put them back on my body like we were not supposed to have sex.

After 2 years, things seemed okay. We were still arguing everyday and I got fed up. We argued one morning over pizza that I claimed I wanted then didn't and I said,  It's over."

The biggest mistake of my life is letting the man I love and care about sooo much go. The next morning I checked his phone just to make sure I was the only woman in his life. He was texting a woman who lives nearby on the day of our 2nd anniversary. He called her "sexy" and texted her things such as, "Make sure you're wearing that sexy black thong I like," and "be there in 20 minutes," but nothing hard core.

This woman is in her 30's, a mom who still lives with her mom and looks completely hideous. She's slept with every man in my neighborhood and I'm serious! He's said it, all his friends have said it, her best friend says it. He swears that it was "just a joke.".

Why wouldn't he make love to me on our 2nd anniversary? He doesn't think he's wrong or thinks it's infidelity. I'm trying to get back with him.

Am I wrong or maybe he just won\t admit that he\s wrong. To me, that's infidelity. PLEASE HELP!!!!

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