Depression: Depression & Related Conditions

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

Depressed Spouse

I am looking for resource material or something to help cope with or where to draw the line at dealing with a spouse you has been diagnosed with depression. All the books I find are strictly for the depressed person(of which I am rapidly becoming one) but nothing on trying to keep a marriage together when your spouse is depressed. He is on an anti-depressant medication now, but it still hasn't helped other problems that have been created in our marriage because of the depression. Most importantly I don't know where to draw the line for dealing or putting up with his behavior. Basically being understanding and empathetic because it may be out of his control for a time verses I can't stand this behavior and I feel I am putting up with too much. We have 3 children so I want to do everything possible to keep my marriage together. Yet, which is the better environment for the kids that mom and dad are married and in the same home with one extremely dysfunctional person (maybe two now) Or that I separate from their father so We don't have to deal with all his depressive irregularities and problems. What is reasonable. When does compassion cross the line to co-dependant. Frankly I am sick to death of dealing with all his mental crap and am tired of working my butt of to get us ahead and then he has a depressive episode and completely destroys what I have accomplished emotionally and financially. He has not only wiped out our bank account but put us in the hole so I couldn't even pay rent with out borrowing money for our church or his parents twice in 4 years. Now he is on the medication but my trust level is zero. We have virtually no sex life now because of all the emotional upheaval this has caused me. I'm not even attracted to him any more.

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Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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