Parenting
Resources
Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsQuestions and Answers
My Family is Ruining my Relationship With my Boyfriend My Boyfriend's Children Won't Accept Me....Wife's BehaviorMy 10 Year Old19 Year Old DaughterRespect + Anger ManagmentMy Husband With Daughter...... Adult Son Interferes with Our RelationshipIs This Normal?How Do I Get My 24 Year Old Son To A CounselorIs it Inappropriate to Call my Daughter...19 Yr Old Naive DaughterBoyfriend's Daughter's Strange BehaviorSubstance AbuseHow Should I Help?Trying to Reconnect With My ExFrequently Snapping Over Little Things!Is Our Son's Behavior Indicative of A Mental Health Problem?Mom Disowning Me For Dating Another RaceDaughter In Abusive MarriageMy 19 Year Old Daughter is Out of ControlTwo Year Old Son WanderedDoes my Baby Need Him?Spitting Four Year Old BoyTerrified of TeenMarraige Life of my Parents Boyfriend Still Acting Like a BachelorI Feel Like I Have Failed - - May 20th 2010How Do I Handle This?How Do I Help My 4 Year Old Son Show Compasion?Afraid of Breaking Family Apart11 Year Old Daughter Jealous of my BoyfriendChild BehaviorWhat Should I do With my 19 Year-Old Daughter's Anger Issue?Personal HygieneFirst Time OffenderParenting a Bipolar Child, Not Quite a Child, Not Quite an Adult5 Year Old Behavior-Is it ADHD or Bipolar or Both?Why do I Reject My Boyfriend's Son?odd (ADHD)Help or Do Nothing?16 year old girl with Attention Deficit DisorderDesperately Mother - GloriaMy child needs helpPregnant Again4 year old depressionA Mom In Need of HelpHelp my son with his morbid jealous girlfriend, get him out.Should I be worried?A child with a bad attitudeI feel uglyGiving Up - Dad of three - Sep 15th 2008SHOULD GRANDPARENTS INSIST ON SEEING A GRANDCHILDGranddaughter needs help before I send her homeMy husband no longer believesHELP ME!!!Am I depressed?young teen response to death and griefMY son said he hears voices and whispersMy needy son hates my boyfriend. How can I avoid choosing one over the other?Does my husband love his daughter more than me (his wife)?Bipolar and childrencan 7-yo boy have antisocial personality disorder?Pregnant with bipolarShould I get involved?19 Year Old Daugter--Out of controlI miss my daughterHow do I empty the nest gently?Anxiety in childrenDad will shoot through hoops.Does My Child Have A Mental Problem?Heartbroken Mommothers who sleep with their sonsExplaining Divorce To ChildrenWorking Mother Wants To Stay HomeProtecting Children From Their GrandmotherPhysically Abusive Mentally Ill SonMissing the ChildrenScared Of Her ReactionFailing My DaughterBipolar ParentingPerfectionistic SonProblem ChildHelping Someone with Bipolar DisorderOverburdened Mom
LinksBook ReviewsSelf-Help Groups
Related Topics

Child & Adolescent Development: Overview
Childhood Mental Disorders and Illnesses
Family & Relationship Issues
Internet Addiction and Media Issues
Child Development and Parenting: Infants
Child Development and Parenting: Early Childhood
Child Development and Parenting: Adolescence

Ask Dr. DombeckAsk Dr. Dombeck:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Protecting Children From Their Grandmother

Fri, Nov 4th 2005

My mother has borderline personality disorder. while growing up ,we went thru 5 stepfathers, all abusive towards us in the same ways, physically, mentally, sexualy. They all seemed to be psychopaths with horrible stories about things they did as kids etc. My mother seemed so unaware, we always thought she was so fragile and so sad. She has terrible angry outbursts over random things and lies so easily I am dumbfounded. I recently came to terms with the fact that she KNEW what was going on. She chose to ignore it. Why did we always have the need to protect Her? We were the children. She is very manipulative. Has alienated all but one of her 7 siblings and myself as well when I recently told her that I knew she knew. We moved 27 times as children as she went back and forth and from 1 man to another. once her husband made us watch as he buried 4 little puppies alive, he warned"don't you dig them up either!" as he walked away and we could still hear them wimpering benieth the ground. She claims to "not remember" these events, even after my sister confirmed them to her. She wants to live in lala land. Last year my oldest daughter gave birth by c-section following a car accident. my mom just showed up! "I'm here! To help with the baby!". At one point she took all the babies clothes off, then yelled at my daughter because the baby was naked and would get cold. She chased away all visitors and ended by going into a tirade against the new mom (with the stapled stomach) in front of my other younger children. I told her her behavior was inappropriate, she continued going on and off her meds w/o telling us(leading to almost psychotic behavior),and these paranoid outbusts. I told her she would have to go home. My q. is "NOW WHAT?" We need boundaries w/o abandoning her. She live in a diff. state, so that helps. Writing her the letter confronting her about my and my sister's childhood helped me finally get it out . The big question, why, why, why? But she just simply disowned me along with all her other relatives, then called one day as nothing had ever happened and it gives me a sick feeling inside to play this lala land game with her. My children don't need to be exposed to her explosive outbursts ever again, I know that.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Dombeck responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Dombeck intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Dombeck to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Dombeck, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Dombeck and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.