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Ask Dr. DombeckAsk Dr. Dombeck:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

My Mother Is Ruining My Life

Wed, Nov 6th 2002

Undoubtedly, you probably get a number of questions about parents. But I have to ask. It's my mother, she has caused me to lose a number of friends, as well as girlfriends. She constantly calls (like 15 times a day) and thinks that the whole world is against her. My mother is very manipulative, and it has finally come to the point where I have told her that I want nothing else to do with her until she seeks help. Case in point, last night she calls my house. I have a new answering machine and I haven't figured out how to change the message from the womans voice. She begins yelling at my roomate, demanding why her voice is on the machine. My roomate tells her its not hers, and my mother calls her a liar. She then calls back like 7 times asking for me ( I was out on a date) then begins to call my cell phone. I have tried to discuss this with my father, but it is useless. She has always been this way, and I believe it has even affected my social life. I just don't want to bring an innocent into this mess. About 2 years ago I was seriously in love with a girl, and she ended up leaving because she 'didn't like who I would become around my mother'. She also couldn't handle my mothers constant interuptions. My older brother has been totally destroyed, he is now a crack addict and criminal. She has no life, no friends, and just sits in her room or constantly goes to a number of physicians for a number of various health issues, though I wonder ofter how much is real, and how much is just a way of getting attention. And they, of course just feed her healthcare addiction with multiple diagnoses of different problems. What can I do? I don't know how much longer I can take this.

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