Im Scared I'm MadMon, Feb 14th 2011
Is that question contradictory? To be afraid of being mad? If I were mad would I know it? I've become increasingly unfamiliar with my surroundings. Life is surreal in the sense that it is unbelievable, dream-like, to sound cliche. I am sure I will be murdered. So sure that I arm myself. I have developed what most MDs would consider to be serious OCD to ensure that I am aware of even the slightest change to my surroundings.
I have had no trauma in my life. No one close to me has died. I'm upper middle class, well educated and healthy. I have friends, family and success, so, there is no psychological explanation for this.
There is something wrong with me. Some being has attached itself to me. I don't know it's intentions but they seem ominous, because why would this being follow me in the dark- where I'm vulnerable and wary of it? Why does it cause increasing anxiety in me and grow in stature in precisely week long intervals? What is happening? I'm sober. I drink less than a normal 21 year old college student and I never do drugs. Why has this thing started to develop a face?
Please explain this to me before it gains a true identity.
Sincerely, frightened stranger
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