I HAVE BEEN IN THERAPY FOR FOUR YEARS WITH THE SAME THERAPIST. FROM THE START SHE INSINUATED THAT SHE DID NOT CARE ABOUT ME. SHE SAID "YOU NEED TO CARE ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US". I REVEAL TO HER THAT I WAS MOLESTED AS A CHILD. SHE JUST SMIRKED AND SAID NOTHING. SO QUITE NATURALLY I FEEL LIKE SHE DID NOT BELIEVE ME. SHE HAVE SAID TO ME THAT I MAKE IT HARD FOR HER TO CARE ABOUT ME. SHE HAS CALLED ME TO SAY THAT SHE GAVE MY APPOINTMENT TO SOMEONE ELSE. I ASKED HER WHY AND SHE BECAME HOSTILE AND SAID "I HAD A CHOICE TO MAKE AND I MADE IT". I WAS SO HURT. I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT IMPORTANT. MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. IF I'M UPSET I CALL HER AND LEAVE HER A MESSAGE BUT SHE WON'T CALL ME BACK. I ASKED HER WHY SHE DIDN'T CALL ME BACK. SHE'LL SAY IT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS BUSY. BUT, LATELY SHE HAS SAID THAT ALL I'M DOING IS SETTING MYSELF UP TO BE DISAPPOINTED IF I EXPECT HER TO CALL ME BACK. I WON'T GO ON BECAUSE I'M GETTING TOO UPSET JUST THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER COMMENTS SHE HAS MADE. NOW I FEEL LIKE THERES NO HOPE OF ME EVER GETTING BETTER. I KNOW I COULD GO AND TRY TO FIND ANOTHER THERAPIST. BUT I WON'T BECAUSE I'M AFRAID THAT THE NEW THERAPIST WOULDN'T LIKE ME EITHER. I JUST WISHED THAT I WAS DEAD. EVERY SINGLE DAY I'M THINKING ABOUT THE WAY SHE HAS TREATED ME. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
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