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Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

What more can I do?

Fri, Apr 24th 2009

Hi, & thank you for this website. I am a long-married woman, late middle age, pretty good marriage, 2 almost grown children both doing well. About 13 years ago I sought out a Gestalt therapist to do "inner child" work with me about how I still didn't know what career I wanted to pursue...and this evolved into very intense (my choice) inner-child therapy in which I discovered (therapist NEVER suggested this, let alone pushing it) that I had experienced incest ("father") from a very, very early age. "The body doesn't lie," she told me when I expressed disbelief at what I was "re-living." And now I know it's true, & it explains a lot of things. From the mother, there was constant shaming & rejection; I learned from her that I was filthy, untouchable, & disgusting. I take Wellbutrin (have a psychiatrist for that, with check-ins twice a year); I have phone appointments with the Gestalt therapist & sometimes in-person appointments (we moved out-of-state a few months after I started with her). I journal, work with PTSD self-help books, etc., & meditate, but after all this time (and I will be in close touch with my therapist forever; she is a wise, loving, supportive ally & a lifeline to me) it feels like I still am not doing as well as I wish. I'm underemployed, afraid to do or say anything that will bring criticism from anyone, & feel despairing sometimes that I'll ever be able to grow beyond where I am now (which is not good enough). I wish I knew what else to do ---  some people just never manage to fully heal? Thank you for taking the time to read this; I hope there'll be an answer from you (of course, so does everyone who writes to you!).

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