Stress Reduction and Management

Ask Dr. Schwartz
Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

My BoyfriendLlied to Me About His Ex.

My boyfriend lied to me about his ex. girlfriend who he worked with when I met him.

When I found pictures of her on his computer, he said he forgot they were even there and deleted them. Since then we've argued a lot about his ex and his feelings for her. He said that he didn't have feelings for her and it was only a work relationship. However,  I felt due to some other things, that this wasnt the case.

He has a bad memory and can't remember things often.  However, I know he has lied to me about stuff having to do with her. When eventually tells me the truth, after several arguments and more lies, he says he does it because he doesn't want to upset me.

I do believe he loves me, and I really love him, otherwise I wouldn't be here asking this stuff.

The thing is, I don't know if he loved me completely when we first met, even though he says he did. I feel like he still liked her and this really bothers me. I can't tell if he's lying to me about anything I ask about her.

Also, after he deleted those pictures of her off his computer, I found a usb key with pictures of me and same pics of her that he had deleted. I don't know if he just had a few copies of them or whether they're the same pictures that he deleted and afterwards retrieved from the the recycle bin and put them on that usb. I cant ask him because I don't trust him to be honest about it. And even if he was, what would that mean? All that picture stuff and ex stuff happened 3 years ago, but it has kept popping up because she worked with him and just stuff would come up.

I really love him and he's my best friend, we're so close, apart from this. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything in my life is falling apart. My dad is very sick, college is terrible and I'm worried about losing my best friend now.

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