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Depression: Depression & Related Conditions

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
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Relationship Questions

Controlling, Disabled Husband

I have been married since I was 19 years old. My husband was injured on the job almost 4 years ago, and since then, we have been together almost constantly. He became extremely depressed after his accident, and I have had to take over almost all the responsibilities in the household, dealing with attorneys and such. He was put on some very strong anti-depressants when he became suicidal, and they seemed to help, but lately, he seems to be getting worse again. He gets mad at me when I won't talk to him about how I'm feeling, but when I do, he tells me it's my own insecurities making me feel that way, that it's my own fault. He also tells me that he has done everything in his power to help me gain self confidence, when in reality, all he has done is wear me down until I don't even have the confidence to cook a simple dinner for him and our children. I simply can't decide what to make. Nothing I do is good enough for him, he wanted me to go to work, so I found a part time job close to our house. We live in a very small community, and there aren't many jobs in the area, I found what I could find with no skills or training. He takes the car, every day, all day, out looking for a job for himself, then gets mad at me because I'm not out looking for a full time job, when I don't have transportation to look, or to get to it if I do find one. He reads my message history on the computer, listens in on my phone calls and gets mad at me if I talk to my friends about how things are going here. I don't feel I have anyone I can talk to about any of it. We have discussed going to marriage counseling, after he called my parents and told them that the marriage was over. The problem with that is, we have no insurance and are trying to make ends meet on disability payments and the little money I bring in from my part time job. He has been looking for work in a town about 70 miles from the town we live in and he was talking about getting an apartment in that town for during the week. I had an interview yesterday in that town, and there is a good chance I will get the job. Should I get the apartment there and take the time to think about what we should do? I don't know what to do anymore. It doesn't seem there is any help out there for us.

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  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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